I never, ever, ever want to be a teenager again. This is absolute. It’s painful enough watching my kids going through it now. Sometimes, however, I do miss certain things. We were “free-range” back then. Our mother wouldn’t have bothered with a GPS tracker, “outside” was the only destination. She didn’t care to know where we really went, as long as we went out.
I don’t miss the hard wired phones, or the pre-ATM world where your whole weekend could be ruined if you failed to get to the bank before closing. I really don’t miss the bell bottoms, or looking good in bikinis, or those heinous Earth shoes.
One thing I do miss, however, were my pre-motherhood feet. Do you know what happens to your feet when you are pregnant? Your body makes a hormone called “Relaxin” that makes your muscles, joints and ligaments loosen up. If I had it to do over, I wouldn’t walk barefoot on the beach while pregnant. It seemed like such a good idea at the time. Healthy and serene as I strolled mile after mile. That was on my days off. At work I was on my feet and walking most of the day. Sooo…after 4 kids, and countless miles of walking while that chemical was loosening up my pins, I’ve lost the feet of my youth. I never had Cinderella pins, mind, but still…at least I had decent arches! I’ve had to move away from those 8-1/2 narrows (that I thought were massive at the time). So, I’ll just say it….I have huge, flat feet. They’ve gained a full size, lost there arch and are now well into the “average” width. Now I’m shopping at that other end of the shoe aisle…the one which is mostly frequented by majestic giantesses, Fiona (Mrs. Shrek) and transvestites.
I miss pretty shoes. They still sell them, and I still buy them, but it doesn’t feel the same wearing them on ogre feet. Now Syd, who still fluctuates between tomboy and princess, has been getting into shoes. She has nice medium sized feet. The girls at the mani-pedi salon never whisper in their home language when they see her feet in the tub. She just bought a pair of basic pumps, and pimped them out in comic books. I’m so jealous. These are so cute, and cool, and fun. And my feet are not. I really miss having my young feet. Maybe, just maybe, she’ll pimp me some clogs. Do you hear me, Syd???Do you, Syd???