The other day, my girls hit the mall and came back with “The Bro Code”. It was a gift for another of their Best Girls- they’re like that. That got me to wondering…Who really writes this crap?
The first rule in the code is “Bro’s before Ho’s”. Not only is that ridiculous- do you KNOW who really says this? I do. A few years ago, we were at my little boy’s 9th birthday party. At an amusement park. One of his friends, another little 8 YR OLD KID, cut in front of his sister and uttered that comment. To an eleven year old girl. This was a 3 foot tall, snot-nosed Bro-wannabe. Yuk.
Now the thing is- even though it’s filled with the sort of things you’d expect some neanderthal (no doubt suffering from testosterone poisoning) to write, the book was in all likelihood probably written by a woman. I know, I know, Barney Stinson, blah blah blah. But I don’t believe a man ever had a hand in this. First of all- it’s a book. How often do men write books on etiquette? Second, it’s a list of directions on male behavior. Most men don’t even read, and certainly not directions! Men don’t read rules, discuss rules or acknowledge them unless it’s in the safe framework of a sport.
Females, however, are another matter. We need friendships, because the world is a harsh place. Some are lucky enough to have a close bond with their mothers. Mother’s aren’t the same as girlfriends. I really hope that all young women can have girlfriends. And I hope they are all smart enough to care for and support their friends too. There are rules, and sometimes we live through many painful years before we realize them. In this case- the Ho Code is about how to be a friend and not a HO. The Ho Code is like the 10 commandments of girfriendship. It’s like this:
#2) That carved image thing- well, it’s not okay to put things before your friends. Things are just things. That said- I still remember when my old roommate wore my grey cashmere sweater and actually sweated in it. It was never the same. Not cool. Ahem…
#3) Do not take their name in vain- means don’t be talking trash about your friends. Ever. You can’t say mean stuff behind their backs. You never belittle them in front of other people. And certainly not in front of Bro’s. Girlfriends don’t do that stuff. Not even Ho’s would do this. Well, maybe Ho’s would.
#4) Remember that Sabbath part? I’m not getting into everyone’s belief system here, it’s just a good idea to take time and appreciate. Show respect. You need to take time to appreciate your girlfriends too. Don’t just forget to call them when you meet a Bro. Those girls are your support. They’ll be there for you when he’s gone. Make time for them. It matters.
#5) Honor thy father and mother. And your friend’s parents too. Parent’s are treasures. Your friends parents will be there for you, they care for you more than you know. And your parents, as uncool as they are, can be a help to your friends. Get over your fear of embarrassment and let your friends and your parents get to know each other.
#6) That murder thing? Kind of goes without saying.
#7) That would be adultery- and it would be #1 if this list wasn’t trying to copy those commandments. Seriously- do NOT EVER go after, hook up, flirt with or make out with your girlfriends ex (and that includes the future ex). That is what Ho’s do. Period.
#8). Stealing- see #7.
So you get the idea. We don’t really even need ten rules. Remember to be kind. Compliments are always welcome***. Make time to build memories.
*** Thanks to Linda, and Bobbie, and any other friend who was kind enough to tell any boldfaced lies about my body’s ability to fight gravity, the ravages of time or whether that dress makes my butt look big. XXX