My daughter Avery has self imposed dietary issues. First, it was vegetarian.  I can’t eat anything with a face, with a brain, the ability to feel pain.  I understand.  I even empathize.  I’m not comfortable eating some animals.  It was still a challenge.  She doesn’t like eggs.  Not crazy about cheese. Then, one day, it was back to omnivorous bliss. Until…

One of the girls in her troop developed a gluten allergy.  This girl and Avery look a lot alike.  Enough so, that the girl’s mother told Avery she probably has a gluten allergy too.  Ugh! She meant well, but for the next 3 months it was gluten free pasta, bread, cookies.  Have you been there?  It costs the moon.  Like $5 for a tiny loaf of bread.  And have you tried it? Double Ugh! Nasty!  Eventually, she agreed to reintroduce gluten. 

And then…  Maybe it was a mistake to get locally raised meats.  To take her to visit the cows, the farm where the pigs are raised.  Should I have seen a problem with letting them name them?  Well, now it’s vegan.  Do you know what they eat?  Sure, vegetables, grains, fruits and nuts.  That was fine for the first few weeks.  Now she wants to branch out.  I think she misses the comfort food.  She’s been emailing me recipes.  They’re for thinks like shepherds pie.  And stroganoff.  How do you make these things vegan? Well, it’s not easy.  It doesn’t sound tasty.  It doesn’t even sound healthy.  The recipes are full of things like margarine, soy based cheeses and other fake dairy products.  One suggests non-dairy creamer.  The heinous stuff I won’t ever put in my coffee.  And something called “seitan strips”.  You know what that is?  It’s processed, flavored wheat gluten.  Yeah, the stuff she thought she was allergic to.  I really need some bacon right now. 

Thanks Ree…Ree Drummond.  The Pioneer Woman.  She posted about this amazing BLT: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2012/05/monster-blt/ .  I’ve been dreaming of it ever since.  I’m making my own BLT, only it’s really a BAT.  I have to work with what I have, and make it quick  while my toothache is waning.

First, the bacon.  Thanks to Blood Farm (named for the Blood family, don’t get huffy), we have amazing bacon.  This abattoir has the finest meat and smokehouse around.  I like the chop and fry the bacon ends. 

While that’s cooking, I chop the lettuce, mixing it with mayo and toasted sesame seeds.  I love those little seeds.  They just elevate a sandwich. That goes onto toast.  In my dream world, that’s 13 grain bread toasted.  In my real kitchen, however, we’re using the boring white bread that the kids chose.

Next, the “A” in the BAT.  That lovely, creamy food of my childhood: the avocado.  Can you tell that I really, really like avocados?  Yum!

Now for the bacon.  Don’t be stingy.  This is what it’s all about.  I’m just noticing that I’ve made a sandwich out of bacon (fat), mayo (fat) and avocado (fat).  Hmmm… I’ll think about that later. 

Because right now, I’m in heaven.  And in heaven people don’t say things like “you are what you eat”.  And people don’t eat tofu cream cheese.  Or beef jerky made our of wheat gluten.  Or even margarine.  Or do they?